Deep Disappointment

Be warned: this is a pretty long rant. But I believe it will be worth your time to read it. I will be very grateful if you choose to take a few minutes and hear me out.

I hate to say it, but people never cease to disappoint me. Not everyone, mind you, but I see more and more every day.

I know it might sound childish, but I have a bit of a beef with the pre-school system. It seems that many teachers (and parents, in some cases) have neglected to teach their charges how to "share." Yes, I, Gavrich, a 17 year-old boy, am upset about (the lack of) sharing, as well as more general issues.

After school each day, a bunch of my fellow day students (of all high school grade levels) play—on Nintendo64—the classic game "SuperSmashBros.," in the school auditorium. It usually ends up with a dozen or so students sitting and watching while four of my fellow 6th Formers (high school seniors), for lack of a better term, "hog" the game controllers. Instead of being decent citizens, this Gang of Four chooses to bar nearly all others from playing, and get bent considerably far out-of-shape when someone asks that they share, citing the fact that they are 6th Formers. I, too, am a 6th Former, but whenever I ask to play, the response consists of un-pleasantries the likes of which I will not quote here, because doing so would sink me to the level of these individuals. Each of them is so engrossed in this pastime that he finds it unreasonable to sit out for one game so that someone else may be able to play. Suffice it to say, it is not at all mature or respectful.

Why don’t I leave, then? you might ask. I'll admit to enjoying what few rounds I am allowed to play, and will also admit to enjoying watching others play, as silly as it sounds. But I also sit there in the hopes that urging my peers to do the very grown-up (first-grade-grown-up, that is) work of occasionally sharing will eventually sink in. Thus far, it hasn't. I'm beginning to lose hope, and will likely need to take some mild corrective action with what little authority I have. I am certainly not wont to use physical force, but the cunning word is mightier than the fist, anyway.

I can stomach the abuse from my fellow 6th Formers--I have been teased and belittled throughout my school life--but what really upsets me is that these fundamentally disrespectful souls have become the role models for many of the younger students that wish to play. As a result, most of the 3rd and 4th Formers in this group have succumbed to the poisonous peer-pressure and have taken to deriding my every effort to inspire some fundamental respect (I hate to use the word so often, but it's most applicable to this situation) in those around me. In turn, these younger students will become bullies themselves, and the horrid cycle will be endless.

I am profoundly saddened to see this. I do not mean to seem arrogant, and I am certainly not looking for pity. Also, do not take this rant to mean that I think I am better than everyone else, and that I am the perfect human being as far as morals go. I know far better than that. I'll admit to being a nuisance who does not relate well to his peers. I'll admit that I tend to speak in a way that can be seen as condescending (I do not intend this; it is simply the way I am). I’ll also admit to periodically shooting my mouth off when I ought to keep quiet. However, these slip-ups are nowhere near the level at which the insults are shot back at me (and countless others).

Despite my many foibles, I MUST be granted the following: I respect others until I am made to feel otherwise. And believe it or not, it takes a great deal to turn me against someone. What I see daily is an unacceptably irresponsible set of behavior, not just towards me but towards many younger students who are undeserving of this malice.

Today, one of this “Gang of Four” made fun of me for being “the kind of person our school wants us to be.” He actually made fun of me for trying to respect people! I have never been so mortified or outraged in my entire life. I couldn’t control my anger, and I insulted him in a childish way, which I deeply regret. Nonetheless, if this is what my generation will be like, I’m skeptical of our future as human beings. Once respect starts to become uncool and obsolete, there is no turning back. And to me, that is as frightening as it gets.

Thank you; no lyrical selection tonight.