A Brief Ejaculation (see secondary definition of the word)

"Come on!" (no pun intended)

Uttered by yours truly a couple of hours ago. During an episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent on Bravo, a commercial opens up with a bottle of Korbel, a cheap champagne, against a black background. All of a sudden, the cork bursts off the bottle, followed by a great gushing of champagne foam. This gushing continues in silence for three to five seconds, and the thick foam drips down, covering the bottle. The ad ends with the fizz around the bottle dissipating, and the name "Korbel" re-emerging. Now, if you know me or read my blog, you know why this is distressing to me. I realize that sex is an important element in effective advertising, but this Korbel commercial is a bit over the top. And don't give me any "you're over-analyzing" crap. I think I've watched enough television to know what companies are getting at with these kinds of commercials.

This evening's lyrical selection is related to my quarrel with the corporate advertising industry.

Billy Joel, "Captain Jack"

"Saturday night and you're still hangin' around
Tired of livin' in your one-horse town
Like to find a little hole in the ground
For a while

So you go to the village in your tie-dye jeans
And you stare at the junkies and the closet queens
It's just like some pornographic magazine
And you smile

Captain Jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your special island
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Just a little push and you'll be smilin'

Your sister's gone out. She's on a date
You just sit at home and masturbate
The phone is gonna ring soon but you just can't wait
For that call

So you stand on the corner in you New English clothes
And you look so polished from your hair down to your toes
But still your finger's gonna pick your nose
After all

But Captain Jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your special island
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Just a little push and you'll be smilin'
La da da, Oh yeah, yeah

So you decide to take a holiday
You got your tape deck and your brand new Chevrolet
Ah but there's no place to go anyway
And what for...
You've got everything, but nothing's cool
They've just found your father in the swimming pool
And you guess you won't be going back to school
Anymore...

But Captain Jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your special island
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Just a little push and you'll be smilin'
La da da, Oh yeah, yeah

So you play your albums and you smoke your pot
And you meet your girlfriend in the parking lot
Oh, but still you're aching for the things you have not got
What went wrong...
And if you can't understand why your world is so dead
And why you've got to keep in style and feed your head
Well, you're twenty-one and still your mother makes your bed
And that's too long...

But Captain Jack will get you high tonight
And take you to your special island
Captain Jack will get you by tonight
Just a little push and you'll be smilin'..."