Oh the Irony! or Only in the South!

I am elated as I write this, sitting in the kitchen of my family's condo in South Carolina. My mother, sister, and I made the !14 hour journey all today, having left Connecticut at 8 AM.

About five miles outside of the town of Dunn, North Carolina, along I-95 South, is perhaps the greatest pair of billboards in all of billboard-dom. They are not witty, and not terribly noteworthy by themselves, but their synergy is incredible. They are on opposite sides of the freeway, and are read in quick succession.

BILLBOARD ON THE LEFT: A blue background, with white lettering, and the text, "Jesus is Lord, have you accepted Him into your life?"

BILLBOARD ON THE RIGHT: A black background, with magenta lettering, all in caps, and the text, "Café Risqué! 24 Hour Topless Bar! XXX Videos and Toys! Food n' Fun!"

I believe I need not elaborate any further.

Tonight's lyrical selection: "Closing Time," by Leonard Cohen

"Ah we're drinking and we're dancing and the band is really happening
and the Johnny Walker wisdom running high.
And my very sweet companion she's the Angel of Compassion
she's rubbing half the world against her thigh.
And every drinker every dancer lifts a happy face to thank her
the fiddler fiddles something so sublime.
All the women tear their blouses off and the men they dance on the polka-dots
and it's partner found, it's partner lost and it's hell to pay when the fiddler stops:
it's CLOSING TIME
Yeah the women tear their blouses off
and the men they dance on the polka-dots
and it's partner found, it's partner lost
and it's hell to pay when the fiddler stops:
it's CLOSING TIME

Ah we're lonely, we're romantic and the cider's laced with acid
and the Holy Spirit's crying, "Where's the beef?"
And the moon is swimming naked and the summer night is fragrant
with a mighty expectation of relief.
So we struggle and we stagger down the snakes and up the ladder
to the tower where the blessed hours chime.
and I swear it happened just like this:
a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss
the Gates of Love they budged an inch
I can't say much has happened since
but CLOSING TIME

I swear it happened just like this:
a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss
the Gates of Love they budged an inch
I can't say much has happened since
CLOSING TIME

I loved you for your beauty but that doesn't make a fool of me:
you were in it for your beauty too.
And I loved you for your body there's a voice that sounds like God to me
declaring, declaring, declaring that your body's really you.
And I loved you when our love was blessed and I love you now there's nothing left
but sorrow and a sense of overtime.
And I missed you since the place got wrecked
and I just don't care what happens next
looks like freedom but it feels like death
it's something in between, I guess
it's CLOSING TIME

Yeah I missed you since the place got wrecked
By the winds of change and the weeds of sex.
Looks like freedom but it feels like death
it's something in between, I guess
it's CLOSING TIME

Yeah we're drinking and we're dancing but there's nothing really happening
and the place is dead as Heaven on a Saturday night.
And my very close companion gets me fumbling gets me laughing
she's a hundred but she's wearing something tight.
And I lift my glass to the Awful Truth which you can't reveal to the Ears of Youth
except to say it isn't worth a dime.
And the whole damn place goes crazy twice
and it's once for the devil and once for Christ
but the Boss don't like these dizzy heights
we're busted in the blinding lights,
busted in the blinding lights
of CLOSING TIME

The whole damn place goes crazy twice
and it's once for the devil and once for Christ
but the Boss don't like these dizzy heights
we're busted in the blinding lights,
busted in the blinding lights
of CLOSING TIME

Oh the women tear their blouses off
and the men they dance on the polka-dots
It's CLOSING TIME
And it's partner found, it's partner lost
and it's hell to pay when the fiddler stops
It's CLOSING TIME
I swear it happened just like this:
a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss
It's CLOSING TIME
The Gates of Love they budged an inch
I can't say much has happened since
But CLOSING TIME
I loved you when our love was blessed
I love you now there's nothing left
But CLOSING TIME