A Hodgepodge

In preparation to write down Hamlet's "To be, or not to be..." soliloquy (for a grade) in toto tomorrow, I recorded myself speaking it into my laptop. Upon listening to it, I discovered that I've got an extremely annoying speaking voice, notwithstanding that I somewhat lisp words with a "ch" or "s," sound, such as "pitch," or "conscience," to name two in the very speech I am memorizing. There's nothing wrong with this; it's just odd to hear the difference between the sound of my voice as I hear it as I speak, and when I hear a recording of my speech. But to sum that up, I realized today that If I had to hear my voice from the perspective of others, I'd find myself pretty annoying too. So I apologize to you whose ears are ringing from my drivel.

Watch "JEOPARDY!". It'll make you smarter.

I think I'd like to go into politics, perhaps. There's not enough youth or humor in that field. I nearly just said I'd like to be president, but that's a cliché and a bit over the top. But either way, look out for a "Gavrich 2040" or "Gavrich 2044" campaign.

Now, this evening's lyrical selection:

Van Morrison, "Everyone"
"By the winding stream,
We shall lie and dream.
Well make dreams come true
If we want them to.
Yes all will come,
Play the pipes and drum.
Sing a happy song,
And we'll sing along.
Everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone, everyone..."

A Bit of Tersity

I learned a lesson in delicacy this evening. At my school's hockey game tonight against a rival school, I took to shouting a phrase of derision that I thought was clever and funny during the lull that happens after the cheers for a home goal. I got a laugh when I cried, "Get used to it!" after the first goal. But, on the second and third goals, I made comments that were not laughed at, and fellt quite silly--sillier than usual, in fact. So I'll try to be a little more tactful and selective in the future. But I'm skeptical of whether I'll actually hold myself to that.

Tonight's lyric excerpt:

Yes, "Owner of a Lonely Heart"
"Watch it now,
The eagle in the sky,
How he dancin' one and only.
You - lose yourself,
No not for pity's sake,
There's no real reason to be lonely.
Be yourself,
Give your free will a chance,
You've got to want to succeed."

To Blog, or Not To Blog (plus Bathroom-Humor!)?

...that is the (answered, since you are reading this) question. I really don't see the point of memorizing 32 lines of a play. Sure, it's one of the greatest passages ever written (and performed, of course), but what good is done by forcing us to memorize it for the sake of memorizing it? I would very much rather devote the time I will spend internalizing it (only to write it down on a piece of paper on Tuesday morning for a grade) to actually LEARNING (sorry, I'm not HTML-savvy enough to be able to put anything in bold or italics or any of that) the soliloquy. Memorizing it, contrary to the belief of the English teachers, will not cause us to grasp its meaning or brilliance in the same way that discussing it would. It'll just make those 30-some-odd lines the bane of our existence (pardon the wretched cliché) for the next three-plus days.

I'm sorry, that wasn't terribly deep or funny. But don't stop reading quite yet (tempted though you may be).

I was at Five Guys Burgers and Fries this evening (I received a great many weird glances from a gaggle of people with whom I attended middle school). Wanting to wash my hands before I received my Cheeseburger-with-mustard-fried-onions-and-sautéed-mushrooms, I headed for the bathroom.

The men's bathroom at Five Guys falls into the category of "one-holers," meaning that it is designed to be occupied by one person at a time, unless you aren't there to do what one normally does in the bathroom. Imagine my surprise when I saw BOTH a urinal AND a conventional toilet! What a waste of money! There's (theoretically) only going to be one person in the bathroom at a time, and one can easily use the conventional toilet for the purpose a urinal serves as well. Seems silly to me.

ONE MORE THING: NEW TIM'S VARIED MUSINGS INSTITUTION (hopefully)! I will try to get in the habit of posting some of my favorite song lyrics, as well as the name of the song and artist, at the end (or beginning, if the theme of the lyrics is relevant to my post) of my post. On certain days, I may just decide to post the lyrics, if I have a touch of "blogger's brain," a cousin of "writer's block." Please comment on the lyrics; I'd love to hear some input.

First set of lyrics:

Leonard Cohen, "Sisters of Mercy"
"O the sisters of mercy, they are not departed or gone,
They were waiting for me, when I thought that I just can't go on,
And they gave me their comfort, and later they gave me their song,
Oh I hope you run into them, you who've been traveling so long.

Yes you who must lose everything that you cannot control,
It begins with your family, but soon it comes round to your soul,
Well I've been where you're hanging, I think I can see how you're pinned,
When you're not feeling holy, your loneliness says that you've sinned.

They lay down beside me, I made my confession to them
They touched both my eyes, and I touched the dew on their hem
If your life is a leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn
They will bind you with love that is graceful and green as a stem.

When I left they were sleeping, I hope you run into them soon,
Don't turn on the light, you can read their address by the moon,
And it won't make me jealous if I learn that they've sweetened your night,
We weren't lovers like that, and besides it would still be alright,
We weren't lovers like that, and besides it would still be alright."

Good night.

If the AXE Label Were Accurate

...my life would be decidedly more exciting, albeit totally early-Augustinian (Juicy, I hope you detect the reference).

Has anybody seen these commercials for AXE-brand products to make boys and men a little more olfactorily tolerable? You know, the one that shows approximately swarms of hundreds and hundreds women who can only be described by the superficial male public-generated word "hot," running with string bikinis a-flopping (along with that which lies under said bikinis) toward a fairly normal-looking kid/guy (aged 17-25, presumably), all because the aforementioned kid/guy sprayed himself with a little AXE Body Spray? I'm here to tell you not to take any stock in those commercials. The same goes for the TAG-brand body spritzing agent (I believe one of their commercials shows three successive levels of young womens' apartments with said female tenants "pole-dancing" around a continuous water pipe, the audience eventually seeing a guy taking a shower in the apartment above). My ratio of "late nights" has not increased, at least not the "late nights" that the body spray implies.

In other news...

Have you ever noticed how people seem to think you're weird, despite having a relatively narrow view of what sort of person you really are? If not, you should consider yourself very, very lucky. (Sorry for the abrupt change in tone; I'm stepping onto the "blogging-for-the-sake-of-blogging" bridge)

I just read that left-handed people are generally more adept at video games and athletic pursuits than right-handed people. (Yep, a few steps further onto the bridge...)

So...yeah...good talk... (I'm now doing "The Worm" on the middle of the bridge)

Good night. (I have finally jumped off the bridge and into the murky, uncertain, yet warm waters of sleepiness)

What An Incredible Rack (My New Years Eve)!

Now that I have your attention..

My New Years Eve night began with a most succulent rack of lamb with a dijon mustard and breadcrumb crust, garlic mashed potatoes. Then, I went with my family to see Ben Stiller's latest turkey, "Night at the Museum," and the night progressed in a downward direction.

The movie consisted of two full hours of every plot cliché available. And all the audience received in return was 10 minutes of novelty, a few chuckles, and a little bit of history. It was not exactly the way I would have chosen to close out my 2006. But, it was perhaps a fitting conclusion to a fairly ho-hum year with very little in the way of intrigue and excitement. But, such is my life, I suppose.

Anyway, perhaps I'll try to assemble a list of New Years Resolutions and post them, but perhaps not, if something else moves me more profoundly (goodness knows I love to complain).

A Brief Treatise on Restless Legs Syndrome, Better Known as Restless Pharmaceutical Company Syndrome

Here is my first outrage of 2007.

I've been seeing commercials advertising a drug that claims to alleviate the symptoms of Restless Leg Syndrome, marked by exactly what the name of the malady suggests.

It is, "described as uncontrollable urges to move the limbs in order to stop uncomfortable, painful or odd sensations in the body, most commonly in the legs. Moving the affected body part eliminates the sensation, providing temporary relief."

I'm sorry, this is just completely silly. Half of my peers (myself included), when sitting down, tend to move their legs up and down repeatedly. It's called Too-Much-Caffeine Syndrome or Nervous Person Syndrome.

On a related note, it's time to stop the excessive medication of America, especially American youth. More and more children are diagnosed with ADD and ADHD when their only real problems are lax parenting and lack of respect for others. I myself was suspected by my first-grade teacher to have ADD when in reality, I was just bored in her class. I was talkative because I finished my menial little tasks before my classmates did (but tenured teachers are a subject for another post). Thank God my parents recognized that I was just a weirdo, rather than a weirdo-in-need-of-ritalin...

More to come later perhaps (the night is young and all that).