Monday, January 01, 2007

What An Incredible Rack (My New Years Eve)!

Now that I have your attention..

My New Years Eve night began with a most succulent rack of lamb with a dijon mustard and breadcrumb crust, garlic mashed potatoes. Then, I went with my family to see Ben Stiller's latest turkey, "Night at the Museum," and the night progressed in a downward direction.

The movie consisted of two full hours of every plot cliché available. And all the audience received in return was 10 minutes of novelty, a few chuckles, and a little bit of history. It was not exactly the way I would have chosen to close out my 2006. But, it was perhaps a fitting conclusion to a fairly ho-hum year with very little in the way of intrigue and excitement. But, such is my life, I suppose.

Anyway, perhaps I'll try to assemble a list of New Years Resolutions and post them, but perhaps not, if something else moves me more profoundly (goodness knows I love to complain).

A Brief Treatise on Restless Legs Syndrome, Better Known as Restless Pharmaceutical Company Syndrome

Here is my first outrage of 2007.

I've been seeing commercials advertising a drug that claims to alleviate the symptoms of Restless Leg Syndrome, marked by exactly what the name of the malady suggests.

It is, "described as uncontrollable urges to move the limbs in order to stop uncomfortable, painful or odd sensations in the body, most commonly in the legs. Moving the affected body part eliminates the sensation, providing temporary relief."

I'm sorry, this is just completely silly. Half of my peers (myself included), when sitting down, tend to move their legs up and down repeatedly. It's called Too-Much-Caffeine Syndrome or Nervous Person Syndrome.

On a related note, it's time to stop the excessive medication of America, especially American youth. More and more children are diagnosed with ADD and ADHD when their only real problems are lax parenting and lack of respect for others. I myself was suspected by my first-grade teacher to have ADD when in reality, I was just bored in her class. I was talkative because I finished my menial little tasks before my classmates did (but tenured teachers are a subject for another post). Thank God my parents recognized that I was just a weirdo, rather than a weirdo-in-need-of-ritalin...

More to come later perhaps (the night is young and all that).