Sunday, December 17, 2006

What the Heck?

I am baffled by weird, silly, non-sensical names for musical groups. It seems like in times of complete blank-mindedness, musicians are wont to select words completely at random from the dictionary. I'm not passing judgement on music quality, but here are some examples of musical groups that just boggle the mind:
- Neutral Milk Hotel
- Architecture in Helsinki
- Be Your Own Pet
- Death From Above 1979
- Yeah Yeah Yeahs
- Handsome Boy Modeling School
- The Boy Least Likely To
- Saves the Day
- The Receiving End of Sirens
- Dogs Die in Hot Cars
- A Tribe Called Quest
- Goldie Lookin Chain
- Get Him Eat Him
- The Academy Is...
- Cute Is What We Aim For
- Panic! At The Disco (The exclamation point is what annoys me about this one)
- Jimmy Eat World

I'd love to hear explanations of some of these. I mean, there's a fine line between creativity and desperation for novelty. "The Who" and "The Rolling Stones" actually have clever connotations. I don't believe "Architecture in Helsinki" can tell us much about the band, other than the fact that they're weird.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Mall Outrage

Fcuking Motherfcukers!

So apparently there's a clothing company called French Connection, and it has a subdivision which it has so cleverly (**sarcasm**) named French Connection UK, creating the oh-so-swell acronym of "FCUK."

It is at this point that I wonder sadly at how blurred the line between cleverness and desperation has become. If a company has to resort to such a silly slogan that plays at the naughty instincts of its would-be customers, there's a problem. Especially if the consequence of purchases is people walking around with shirts that say, "FCUK on the beach" and other such dubious catchphrases.

Do not mistake my ire with an urge to curb the 1st Amendment, however. I just find it irresponsible to wear such an article of clothing in full view of small children in a mall. All it says about the wearer is, "Look at me! It looks like a swear word, but not quite! Ain't I got gall!" Call me boring, but that's really not very helpful in a society where the kids are already becoming worse-behaved and less respectful on the average. All I'm saying is that it's fine if you wear it in a place where people of your age will see it, but please, keep it away from the little ones.

Okay, there's the negative, but in the spirit of the Holiday Season, I'll leave you with a positive:

If you have never seen it before or recently, do try to watch the movie "Young Frankenstein" soon. It is delightful.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Setting a Dubious Precedent

So I woke up today later than I eer have in my life. After going to sleep at around 11:45, I woke up at 1:15, PM! I was astounded. I've never before slept so late into the day. 11:30 was my previous record, but I blew it out of the water.

I have to say, I was kind of upset that I slept so late. I've always prided myself on being a morning person, and today's somnambulatory (a favorite word of mine) events flew in the face of all that.

While it's nice to feel so well-rested, but it's depressing to have wasted so much of a day, especially since it gets dark so early. Ah well; I've got three weeks to regulate my sleeping schedule.
...
A couple people have actually remarked that my writings are amusing to them. So now I guess I'm under a little pressure to write more often. I'll try, but I can't promise. You know, my life isn't nearly as interesting as those of the people whose blogs I read. But I'll try to make the most of it.

Cheers for now.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Excitement!

So, today (12/6) was quite exciting. When visiting the school store and choosing today's form of self-indulgence (candy, don't you know), I saw it, on high, like a sign from the heavens. It screamed, "buy me, BUY ME!!!!!" And I did. So today marks day one of Gavrich's Bucket Hat Era.

Yes, you heard correctly (you've probably now figured that "exciting" might be a bit of an overstatement). I will be wearing a bucket hat from time to time. I decided that I just wasn't sexy enough in a plain-old baseball cap, so I've kicked the hunkiness up yet another notch with this recent purchase. So now, not only am I a totally righteous dude; I am a totally righteous BUCKET-HAT-WEARIN totally righteous STUD.

**Yes folks, it's Sarcasm! Designed to make you groan out of annoyance or anguish; hours of fun for all your friends! It's Sarcastic!**

I apologize for the above euphoric rant, and thank you for your understanding.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Today's Bits of Wonder

Perhaps I missed the societal memo, but when exactly did it become permissible to discuss defecation in great detail in mixed company? Now, call me old-fashioned, but I don't believe a young lady wants to know anything about the gastrointestinal misadventures of any of her male peers. For that matter, neither do most males.

In other news, have you ever listened to a song after a several-year hiatus? I did so some minutes ago. It was a song called "Daybreak," performed by a group called "Special EFX" an obscure contemporary of the only slightly less-obscure Pat Metheny Group (it's modern Jazz). I would be shocked, awed, and taken completely aback (in a good way!) if any of you reading this has ever heard of the song or group. Anyway, it was a great feeling, like a brief, mental sugar-rush.

Well, that's all I have for this evening. Just remember: don't go around talking about poo-poos among large groups of people. I don't think anyone cares about your bowel movements, and frankly, it's far beyond repulsive.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Post #20!

I've gotten into some really bad vacation-time habits over the past couple days. Due to some irrational fear of missing interesting television and a preponderance of late-night net surfing, I have gone to bed around 1:30 AM the past three nights. It's as though I'm too slothful to leave the couch for the comfort of my featherbed (sounds effeminate, but even the manliest man would enjoy sleeping on such a soft surface, I believe).

I have come to the following realization: I, Tim the Consummate Dork, am wasting far too much free time. I surf Wikipedia from time to time on these late nights, but never find anything of genuine interest. I need a hobby, or something interesting to become an expert on, or something to collect. Photography? Collecting fossils? Entomology? Bodybuilding (haha), perhaps?

I'm open to suggestions.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Well, I Passed...

...hoorah. I can now gorge myself on bird and starch and sweet without any worries.

Of course, I was astounded at how easy the examination was. It frankly concerns me. I now know exactly why so many undeservingly licensed drivers take their heavy metal weapons of locomotion onto the roads each day. All some of them had to do was back-in-park in a school parking lot, and then just stay inside the painted lines for ten minutes. But who am I to complain?

So if you see a white Acura TL with Connecticut plates traveling at the speed limit (or maybe one or two miles over the speed limit if I'm feeling really rebellious and naughty!), please do not be cross. It's just little ol' me, plodding along my cautious way.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

An Event of Significance

Okay, I will be taking my driving test tomorrow...

Here's my problem with the whole system: If anyone who has been driving for more than a few months were to take the driving portion of the test, he/she would most likely fail, supposing the driving test is administered according to the letter of the driving regulations. No one comes to a full stop at a STOP sign. I have been passed a few times when traveling a mere two miles per hour above the speed limit. It's outrageous. The police forces of America could become some of the most profitable organizations in the world if they enforced traffic laws to the letter. It's truly remarkable, the recklessness of drivers.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Very Strange...

To those of you who read my blog but do not know what I look like, this may not register with you. Just understand that I'm not exactly an attractive specimen of humanity.

With the preceding in mind, imagine my surprise when a woman in Big Y (a shopper, not an employee), a fairly attractive woman of an estimated 30-35 years said to me (and I quote directly), "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Matt Damon?"

Needless to say, I was dumbfounded, and nearly laughed aloud, but be proud, dear readers, that I refrained, and said politely, "Thanks. I've actually never heard that before. But thank you." I'll admit that I held back a grin for the next ten minutes.

Even more surprising than the content of the question was the fact that the woman asked it completely unsolicited. Perhaps she said to herself, "Aww, this kid's shopping with his mother. That's sad; he could use a pick-me-up." Perhaps she was honest. All the same, I had thought that we Americans had become too uptight to say such things. And even though her statement was a bit unsettling, it's nice to know that there are still people who aren't completely encased in their own private bubbles of existence.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Two Interesting Items: An Idea And Then A Brief Reflection (unrelated)

Two things that came to fruition tonight...

First, the idea...

It seems to me that in many cases, captivating thespians are often brooding, quiet people (at least, as seen by those who do not know them well. They mostly keep to themselves and do not say much. BUT, when they are on stage, immersed in the body and mind of their characters, they are able to portray convincingly most any personality. Having seen a production of the one-act play "Museum" this evening, many of the more talkative, center-of-the-action characters are portrayed by people of that same introverted personality I just mentioned.

I believe a couple factors may be at work here. Possibility #1 is that these people are so insecure about their "real" lives that they have no other outlet for self-expression other than the stage. This seems to me a backward form of escape; it is most intriguing. The only way they can escape their own insecurities is in front of a crowd. I would like to think that the introverted people who played extroverts do not fall under this insecurity category, but I am unsure.

Possibility #2 is that acting is a grand catharsis. These people bottle up all of their creative energy during the days (weeks, months) leading up to performances, and just publicly explode with energy and vigor when called to do so. This is my hope. I do not hope for other people to be insecure, as Possibility #1 mandates. Surely they have value to add to the lives of others off the stage, no? Yet this cathartic manifestation of themselves is all most people know of them. Is this what makes them so very effective?

Sorry, I don't have many answers, although I am somewhat certain that most great actors and actresses fall under one of these categories (hopefully moreso under #2, though I am unsure). All I know is that because I am such an oddball in real life, I would likely be an ineffective actor. I'll leave that to the professionals who know what they're doing, because as you can see, I do not have much of a clue in this matter.

Now, the reflection (If you're still with me, I thank and applaud you. This shall be brief).

On the way home from a golf match during my Sophomore year, I burst out in a fit of laughter. Uncontrollable laughter, multiplied by the sight of abit of ketchup on a teammate's shirt. When my astonished, frightened teammates looked at me to see the cause of my hysteria, all I could choke out was "TOO MUCH SUGARRR!!!!" I was exhibiting behavior of someone affected by some illegal substance or another. In terms of sugar, I had had that day a Powerade, and then a soda and Frosty™ Dairy Dessert from Wendy's.

I experienced similar giddiness earlier tonight, albeit on an far smaller scale. I'd call it "moderately sustained light giggling." It got me thinking about the phrase, "high on life." Some people just say it just to say it, but I think that it's actually somewhat true in my strange case. I believe that there is something wrong (I'd actually say right) with me which causes my body to manufacture a dosage of natural "happy drugs," from time to time. Which is great. I'll never have to waste my money on outside stuff; I've got my own stock with me. Weird, eh?

Friday, November 03, 2006

Thoughts After a Few Moments' Facebooking

I have a Facebook account, and am a member of a group called Ultimate Facebook Project. UFP is a group of some 650,000 Facebookers. Thus, the "Discussion Board" section makes for entertaining reading, because it is a place where people who have never met (and likely never will) get together and discuss anything and everything. Here's a brief account of my findings.

Anonymity sure makes people horny. At least one of every three threads I've perused in the Discussion Board discusses sex at some point. And not shyly either. "What's your favorite position?," and "Best Places to Have Sex" topics are quite common. I followed one of the latter types of topic all the way through, nearly 6000 posts of it (over the last couple days, because frankly, I have no other way to fill hours). I never knew how much thought people could put into such a topic. Furthermore, I found out something unexpected; that the girls were just about as open in their comments as the guys (which brings to light all new wonderments of the ubiquitous male-female dynamic that need not be pondered now). But rest assured, there was an alarming amount of shameless hitting-on by the males.

To my surprise, the thread made it into the 5000s without going horribly off-topic, but the inevitable did happen. Two devoutly Christian girls came into the discussion, arguing that everyone would be damned to hell because of pre-marital sex. If there's one thing that seems to spread discontent, it's radical ideas. Naturally, these girls were much-berated for their statements. Though I too disagree with their opinions, I marvel at how others (mostly college students) fail to rise above the typical degeneration of such arguments and fail to posit any meaningfully interesting argument. I guess that the impersonal nature of Facebook still doesn't inhibit maturity in discussion when people try to stir the pot.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

A College Essay: Looking for some peer-comments

The following is a draft of an essay I need for a supplement on one of my applications. I think I did a decent job. But please tell me what you think.

Here goes...

Though I am a male of 17 years old, I can say shamelessly that I still sleep in the presence of stuffed animals in my room. The one which occupies the most prominent location—leaning over the headboard of my bed, propped up between the bed and the wall—is a calico-patterned lion named Callie. The name “Callie” is short for “Calliope,” the Greek mythological Muse of Eloquence. Callie was given to me at birth by my Yia-Yia (Greek for “grandmother”).

Yia-Yia was an effervescent, strong-willed lady who in her lucid days always wore a smile, despite the frailty that accompanies old age. Between my earliest recollections of her and her passing, not a day elapsed when she did not take fewer than 12 separate medications in order to battle her high blood pressure, dementia, and malfunctioning liver and kidneys, among other afflictions. Though she would sound upset and resistant when my mother implored her to take these pills, a grin would always immediately take up residence, showing that her orneriness was merely playful. Whenever we brought her to our house to celebrate someone’s birthday, we would make a game of bopping the deteriorating, helium-filled foil balloons back and forth. The balloon would jerk back and forth intermittently, Yia-Yia laughing sweetly with every hit.

Yia-Yia’s cheeriness continued long into her convalescence, but as her mind, memory, and comprehension of faces and voices waned, so too did the laughing lady who occupied much of my childhood. However, I do not dwell on memories of her last few months; she would not approve of it. Instead, I recognize her positive influence on me. Whenever I went to see her, I knew to be as polite and articulate as possible. Yia-Yia deserved an attentive grandson as cheery as she. Thus, my time around her helped to shape my current character and ethics. I try my hardest to be a polite, compassionate young man every day, because it is what she invited and respected. Though I may be ornery and loud at times, I mean no malice.

In addition to my efforts to be a good son, grandson, brother, friend, and citizen, I have also been blessed with the gift of a sophisticated vocabulary and keen writing skills, which brings me back to the notion of my stuffed lion. I have never slept a night in my bed without Callie watching over me. And I can’t help but wonder if deep in her cotton stuffing, the spirits of Yia-Yia and the Muse concert to ease my sleep and inspire me to act honestly and kindly in my waking hours.

Friday, October 20, 2006

TWO IN A DAY (Because I have been inspired to do this 27-question thing)!

1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?
I would blow up the person whose AIM sreenname is laxattakkk05, because he/she is a bigot.

2.You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
I'd eighty-six whichever group is at the top of the "Screamo" genre currently.

3.Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
I'd like to sock the person who came up with the game show, "Deal Or No Deal."

4.What is your favorite cheese?
I quite like a nice runny Brie.

5.You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
I'd figure out how to make exact copies of the Chicken Cutlet Grinder at Franklin Avenue Giant Grinders in Hartford. If you've never had one, please do, and then you'll know what I'm talking about.

6.You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
This may sound superficial, but I'd have to say Jenna Jameson. I figure she'd be extremely talented in such an activity as the question outlines.

7.You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
Maybe that gal Shakira. Especially if her "hips don't lie."

8. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
Since I'd be so elated with the events of the day, I'd probably just hold onto it or invest it.

9.You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
I'd settle for a ticket to Myrtle Beach, headed for the family condo in Pawleys Island.

10.Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
Pay for the cab fare to the condo, necessary food provisions, and settle down for a quiet weekend of golf.

11.An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is...?
Well I am not really enamored of alcohol, so I'd choose perhaps an exquisite red wine, and sell a bunch of the bottles for a nice profit.

12.Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
I'd travel back (assuming I could return to the present at any time) to Athens and listen to Homer recite "The Odyssey" (I hope that since it's a sophisticated time machine, I can be endowed with a thorough understanding for Ancient Greek).

13.You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
RULE 1: Be excellent to each other (I'm still happy from Rufus' visit)!

14.You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what's the premise?
It's just a camera crew following me around dirung the day. The name of the show is "Aren't You Glad You're Not This Kid?"

15.What is your favorite curse word?
I say "dammit" a lot (I know. Hardcore, right?)

16.One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?
I'd say, "Toilet paper delivery at THIS time of night?" Then they'd groan, leave, and I'd go back to sleep.

17.Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don't worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely.So what's the item?
I'm probably going to sound like the biggest sentimantal softie in the world, but I might save my stuffed lion, "Calliope," which my late grandmother gave to me at birth. "Callie" kinda keeps a symbolic watch over my bed. Sappy, eh?

18.The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Have a good meal with family, then snap on some great headphones and put on Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue," with the ending to coincide with my own.

19.You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What's it gonna be?
The power to duplicate super powers for myself.

20.You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
A couple bus rides to golf team practice freshman year. Those sure were raucous. I miss those days.

21.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
I don't know if there's anything I'd really erase. I haven't had any great embarassments, since I'm such a weirdo anyhow.

22.You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit... you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin'! What country are you going to live in now?
Probably England. It's close to continental Europe, as well as Scotland and Ireland, which are phenomenally golf and culture-rich.

23.This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
The bar at Max Downtown, so I can still have dinner there.

24.Hopefully you didn't mention this in the super-powers question.... If you did, then we'll just expand on that. Check it out... Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like "Dude, check it out... I can FLOAT!"?
My own house, and I'll just pester my family like I always do. But now I'll just be floating.

25.The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
Since my power is the power of duplication of powers, I'd bring back Jim Morrison (musical genius) and Payne Stewart (then the US Ryder Cup team would have a chance.

26.The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn't think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
My father's mother or mother's mother. It sucks not to have any living grandparents.

27.What's your theme song?
None stand out, but since I'm on the proverbial spot, I'll take "Nobody's Perfect," by Mike + The Mechanics

If you've read all of this, bravo. Please IM with comments if you are so inclined. These are some pretty eclectic questions.

Ruminations

During my daily routine of casual observation of people around me, I've heard of some crazy times (or at least allusions to crazy times, because let's face it, I'm not in many "inner circles"). Many people seem to have interesting stories. That is, except me. I'm pretty pathetically boring--unable to relate to my peers. I really don't have any tales of intrigue, mystery, or excitement, from my personal life. That is to say, none that would interest a really wide group of people (most of my interesting experiences have to do with golf, and not many people want to hear about that)) Socially, therefore, I have very little going for me. If anyone has any suggestions that do not involve drugs or alcohol for adding a little "umph" into the fabric of my life, please feel free to throw some out.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Ramblings

Why is it that schools (at least mine) start to pile the work on for seniors to coincide with the college application process? I mean, isn't it in the best interest of the school to make it so that seniors are able to concentrate on completing their college applications, ESPECIALLY those who may be applying early (which seems to be the case for the majority of seniors at my school)? Seems a little hypocritical to me.

Why are all-boys schools mostly better at sports than co-ed schools while all-girls schools' teams seem to be worse than girls' teams at co-ed schools?

Has our society really de-evolved so much that it is now "uncool" to be polite? At the SAT dinner last night, I was ridiculed by others at my table for saying "please" and "thank you." That is outrageous to me.

What does being 17 years old mean that being 16 does not?

AND NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT ONE: What is the point of English quizzes that "make sure you've read the material" when they only test plot events and concepts that can be easily understood by reading SparkNotes or any evil equivalent? I have read every page of assigned reading so far this year, but I have a lower average on these quizzes than the slackers who only read the short version because they're too busy doing other things that are likely unproductive and wholly unnecessary.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Well Readers, I've Got One Question To Ask You: Brain, or No Brain?

I have had the misfortune to watch the show "Deal Or No Deal" on NBC on a couple of occasions. I am flabbergasted and appalled at the mindlessness of it.

There are 26 cases on the stage, each one held by an anorexic, failed runway model. There are different amounts of money in each case, randomly distributed, fom $.01 to $1,000,000. Your task is to pick cases to open, thereby eliminating that sum from the board. The object is to end up with as much money as possible. But here's the catch: you only need a voicebox to play! Brain Not Required! For effect, there is a silhouetted banker in a booth upstairs who makes monetary offers to the contestants. The silhouette has a very large nose. This is a shot at Jews in general, catering to the stereotype that Jews have big noses and are often bankers, and are thus snobbishly shrewd and unpleasant. I can't believe there's such blatant anti-Semitism on television, and that it is allowed to be perpetuated.

It's the dumbest game show ever invented, so it's naturally a big hit. The new season of DOND begins with a $6,000,000 bonanza. So, some idiot whose only qualification for being on the show is his/her idiocy, will get the chance to walk away with a pile of cash. Ain't the world cruel?

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Some Deep Frustrations

Forgive my long-windedness, but I promise earnestly that I won't waste your time.

I am becoming slowly aware of the cruelty of high school. I've realized that I have a morbid role in the social structure of my school.

I am nothing more than the "Bearded Lady," the "Two-Headed Snake." A sideshow item, useful mostly in the amusement of others. And when they are satisfied, I am cast aside. It's kinda depressing.

I realize I have never been popular. I do not expect to be so. But the thing that pisses me off is how many people just flat-out REFUSE to acquaint themselves with something, or someone, different from what is already around them. In my case, there is a confluence of factors that has turned me into a monkey in a cage to many people.


I AM FAIRLY INTELLECTUAL: I do not mean to sound a braggart, but it's true. School and knowledge interest me. I am inspired by knowledge, far moreso than many people. As a consequence, I have become a resource. An encyclopaedia instead of a person at times. I am "uncool" because I like school. That sickens me more profoundly than any other evil. There is literally an infinitely high amount of untapped potential all around. I am guilty of it as well, but I know a large amount of people who could achieve so much more than they do currently.

Many of my AIM conversations with people I don't know very well usually consist of someone else asking me a question about school (an assignment, a draft of someone's essay), and that's about it. When their question is answered, they are finished. I seldom have a meaningful conversation with someone other than those I know better; they are few and far-between.

Now don't get me wrong; I love helping people. My idealistic hope is that the way I help them can help them in future times of confusion. It doesn't tend to happen that way. All they are looking for is a "quick fix," and the Gavrich Encyclopaedia is somewhat reliable, and free.


I AM POLITE AND ETHICS-CONSCIOUS: I am dumbfounded by the way a large number of people act. This is especially apparent in my observations of boys' behavior vis-a-vis girls. I am probably hopelessly, terribly old-fashioned, but in my ideal world, boys/men act differently in order to curry the favor of girls/women. I am fantastically awkward, because I am physically and emotionally averse to nearly all modern teenage male behaviors aimed at gaining respect in the eyes of the female population.

I do not swear or speak vulgarly in the presence of a girl or woman because I was raised to have high respect for them. I am sad when I see or hear a boy tell a dirty, derogatory joke in front of girls. And then I hear the uneasy laughter from the females within earshot.

The word "hot" in terms of describing a girl's/woman's looks makes me feel uncomfortable, because it is purely an estimation of superficialities. It objectifies girls and women in the basest way, and I believe they deserve far more respect than that.

Call me crazy, but isn't personality worth something? I'm sad to say that to a great many boys and young men, certain girls are just trophies. Outward beauty is the only relevant trait to most men (I believe, by the way, that this is a cause of the ever-increasing divorce rate in this country). Maybe it's because I'm no "hottie" myself, but regardless, I feel strongly that way.

I know that an attractive girl or woman is a privilege to behold, but inner beauty accentuates the outward appearance all the same. I find many girls I know to be more attractive than do most of my male peers, because a good personality makes the exterior even more pleasant. Conversely, there are girls who my male peers find "hot" that I find generally repulsive because of an awful demeanour. I do not join in sexist banter whenever girls help themselves to ice cream in the Dining Hall. The ideal female figure in the eyes of the boorish male is very difficult to attain, and impossible to maintain, except at a potentially grave price. Hence the rise in teenage female bulimia and anorexia.


(Finally) I HAVE UNUSUAL INTERESTS AND MANNERISMS: I am ever trying to convince others to embrace their peers' differences. This is not solely for my purposes, because I know many like me who too are relatively unknown to the general population because they look, speak, act, or (most commonly) think a differently.

As I write this, I am listening to "Milestones," a famous jazz tune penned and performed by the great Miles Davis. "Milestones" was first performed over a half-century ago. I am unable to see the intellectual value in virtually all rap music. The same goes for modern Pop music. I am much more interested by Bob Dylan and Neil Young than by 50 Cent and Green Day. I like classical music; my favorite composers are Gustav Holst and George Gershwin. I also like folk music; specifically the efforts of the group Silly Wizard, the solo songs of its lead singer Andy Stewart, and Jez Lowe and the Bad Pennies, among others.

I walk funny. That's pretty self-explanatory.

I like words, so I sometimes use ones that may be obscure of have esoteric meanings. I hope that if you have encountered any such words up to this point that you'll take a moment to look them up. That's how I learned them.

I am dependent upon my laptop for taking notes and writing essays on tests. The reason is that I have always had a fundamental fine motor-skills deficiency. It causes my hand to become sore and tired after a relatively short time writing. My handwriting is atrocious. I can't tie my shoes with the skill and agility of 99% of people my age, and perhaps people of 10 years of age. I'd ecstatically trade my extra-time and computer accomodation on tests for the ability to do these things the way others can, but that's impossible. Another difference.
~~
In writing all this, I am not fishing for pity. There are too many people in roughly the same position as I. The point of this hour's writing was to try to explore some things that I just don't understand. If you have read all the way to this point, I would like to thank you most sincerely for bearing with me. You could have done whatever you usually do at this hour (if it does not usually entail reading the ramblings of frustrated souls), but you chose to listen to what I have to say. I appreciate it. If you have a comment or would like to challenge one or more of my points, I'd like for you to send me an IM. My screen name is timgolf2002.

Thanks.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

It's NOT a Small World After All

This evening, I refrained from watching the Emmy Awards because, let's be honest, it's a joke. Anyway, instead, I watched two episodes of the show "Tribal Odyssey" on the Travel Channel. I highly recommend it, but only if you are mature enough not to giggle at some mild tribal nudity. Anyway, it gives an attentive watcher an interesting perspective. Take for instance the Wasoni tribe in Papua New Guinea (Large country southeast of Indonesia and north of Australia, for those who don't know, or don't care). Two clans went to the brink of war: The Chief of Clan A was killed by his teenage bride from Clan B. As retribution for the murder, Clan A demanded a number of Cowrie shells, which are highly prized for their beauty, which makes them equivalent to currency. However, Clan B's representative in talks as been told by the government not to use cowrie shells as payment. But, money is not useful for the Wasoni. Eventually, the two tribes agree to a half-shells, half-money agreement. But just ponder the fact that there are still tribes which cannot "take the money and run."

Boys of the Himba Tribe of the dry areas of Africa (I did not catch the country in which they reside) are circumsized at the age of eight, to symbolize their passage into manhood. At eight years old, they begin to be given tasks performed by adults. Ponder that a moment. At this time, the clan slaughters a cow, and in addition to cooking it up for their feast, the head of the clan must read the entrails of the cow in an attempt to foretell future events. If you think that this is nonsense, consider that this time, the reader saw that the appearance of a particular vein symboized death, but more specifically, someone's knees getting broken or badly injured in the near future. Pretty intricate, no?

I watched only the very beginning of another episode, this time about the Zo'e tribe, who live deep in the Amazon. Heck, their presence was only detected in the last few years. They live in a part of Brazil which the Brazilian government has forbidden the public from entering, because it is virtually unexplored and unknown. These people are as close as we can come to time-travel. They live as humans lived 30,000 years ago in principle. They have no TV, no cell phones, no People Magazine.

Watch "Tribal Odyssey" once in a while. It gives one a bit of a different perspective.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Nostalgia

Last night, I happened to reconnect with an old acquaintance who moved away after third grade via AIM. She has as good a memory as anyone I know, remembering silly things that she and I said as long ago as 1st grade. Anyhow, it was awesome to just reminisce about bygone days; days when we worried about reading our first multi-chapter books WITHOUT pictures. Now, there are things like AP US History and Calculus that have taken the places of the elementary toils.

Take a look at your middle school yearbook(s) every so often, and have a a trip back in your brain and remember some of the old characters from bygone days. It's a refreshing exercise.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Some Short Musings

- My father recently needed to schedule an appointment with my parents' opthalmologist. But, when he called the office, he found out that the number had been disconnected. Why? Dr. Coppeto was arrested in February for possession of over 1000 images of child pornography. A 61 year old man, with five grown children. But appallingly at most, hismaximum sentence would be 7 and a half years in prison. He made an Alford plea (not admitting guilt but conceding a preponderance of damning evidence) to boot.
My point: many criminals get off too easy in this country. I am a very strong proponent of the death penalty; in fact, I believe that it should be applicable to sex crimes as well. Please, Criminal Justice System, take John Mark Carr away from humanity as soon as possible. Even if he didn't kill JonBenet Ramsey, he still deserves a speedy execution date.

- If you do cannot speak properly the official language of the country in which you reside, you do not deserve to be a citizen of said country.
My point: see above

- People who make the same face in nearly every picture in which they appear piss mee off.

- Women who marry death row inmates deserve to be hit upside the head with heavy manufacturing equipment.

- People who drive SUVs do not have the right to complain about global warming or oil prices.

That's all for now.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

A Letter to Jon Stewart

Dear Mr. Stewart,
I have a request of you. You know that show of yours; The Daily Show? I was wondering, could you be ever so kind as to give it a freakin' rest?
For every event of relative seriousness, you and your band of writers are compelled to make light of it in the most disrespectful manner possible. Take today's terrorist round-up in England; a victory in the War on Terrorism, no? Well shiver-me-timbers! No liquids on the plane? Preposterous! Ha-ha! Another bit of hooliganism on the part of the inept Department of Homeland Security! What a stupid restriction to place on airline passengers in the wake of terrorists wanting to mix up some explosives with LIQUIDS! Lest we forget another clever insertion of a sarcastic "democracy is the only antidote to extremism" jibe!
Is this all a joke to you, Mr. Stewart? Do you feel it is wise to delude people of the seriousness of today's world by making third-grade jokes about the president and any other conservative political presences? Is this any way to affect positive action on important political and social issues?
Mr. Stewart, I beg you, will you please return to the days of Baby-Racing? The days when it was clear to everyone that your show is but an extended joke? You should be alarmed that some people take it completely seriously. You know, the news items you either found or invented that made light of subjects that deserved it? Perhaps you and your fake-conservative buddy Colbert can rekindle some of the old magic.
Until then, I have a tip for you when taking any airplane trips in the near future. Just take that bottle of water, and just hide it where the sun don't shine. Your head could use company up there.

Thank you ever-so-much.

--Gavrich

Monday, August 07, 2006

I don't mean to beach, but...

... I'm just not that enamored of spending more than an hour by the sea's sandy edge. I did this today, for the first time all summer, at the behest of my family. We only walked around searching for shells, so the experience was somewhat bearable. Trust me, any more of a commitment on my part would benefit no one.

For starters, the thought of my bare torso is enough to send the Pawleys Island Police Department into a frenzy; what with my decided stoutness of shape, not to mention a golf shirt-shaped tan line (my fair Greek skin needs no sunscreen, so my bronze arms are the only evidence of outdoor activity) that would send onlookers to area hospitals with cardiac troubles resulting from either uncontrollable laughter or crippling fright.

Another part of the beach which does not at all agree with me is sand. While the idea of walking barefoot in the sand, feet sinking in at every step may be a liberating one to some people, I just find it annoying. The whiteness of the sand did not help either, as I found myself waddling (more pronounced than usual) along, expending a great deal of energy in the unstable sand, squinting and sometimes closing my eyes altogether.

Perhaps I will eventually see in the beach what others see; they're nice to look at, but after a short while, my eyes are ready to find some other stimulation. But for now, I'm content to make a once-a-year pilgrimage to the sandy expanse, just to confirm that nothing has changed. Today, my favorite part of going to the beach was my footlong hot dog and onion rings afterwards. Besides, if I wanted to go nearly blind and come home sticky, there are probably other, less common alternatives.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Thoughts After Visiting a Mall

I was made to go to the mall this afternoon, after watching the end of the Open Championship. The five of us (myself, plus my parents, sister, and sister's friend) walked around for a couple hours, and then caught the 4 PM showing of 'The Devil Wears Prada,' a sappy, modestly entertaining comedy. Anyway, whenever I am at a mall, I leave feeling less confident of the moral fortitude of my fellow Americans. Two sights were of particular outrage.

First, a woman of about 25, wearing a black tee shirt woth the famous PLAYBOY Bunny on the front. This alone is not really an outrage, however, the combination of a less-than-centerfold-quality figure and four young children in tow was most rather distressing. I don't mean to condescend the overweight--after all, I am no hunk of a youth myself--but I am thoroughly disappointed in those who choose to wear a symbol which, in maternity, connotes a very distinct irresponsibility and evokes a certain concern from onlookers. Three of this woman's four children were girls. Will they follow in her muddy footstep? Will she bestow upon them the wantonness that inspires her to admire the unattainable standard of superficial beauty? I should hope not, but I am unsure.

Second, a girl no older than myself wearing a tee shirt saying, in formal script, "Looking for a cowboy for a midnight rodeo". I coughed aloud when I saw this, taken aback. The fact that the 1st Amendment is abused in such a way by tee shirt companies upsets me, but to see a girl of approximately my age wearing it stuns me. Were it legal, would she sell herself into prostitution? I'd imagine this is probably not so, but then what kind of message does such a phrase send? What does she want to prove by wearing it? That her parents can't kep her from being an individual? The notion of sex at a relatively young age does not bother me at all, but such blatant suggestion is disconcerting.

Is it the mall? Does the prospect of seeing a large number of unknown people lower one's inhibitions? All I know is that there is an intersection between free speech and public decency. The aforementioned young women did not see and STOP sign, for sure.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Horror Movies

I just saw the trailer for the new horror movie, "The Descent." As Jerry Seinfeld would say (picture the signature ascent in the pitch of the voice): WHAT is UP with THAT? I'm just a simple suburban wimp, but I like to think there's a little common sense in me. Who wants to see people get gored beyond reality by creatures who prey on hapless spelunkers? What fascinates people about seeing the undead feast upon the brains of unsuspecting thrillseekers? Furthermore, why would people pay $9.50 (not counting the $6.00 bag of popcorn or the $4.50 32oz soda) to sit through 90 minutes of blood-spatter, guts-munching, and other depraved violence? If it wanted to lose sleep, have nightmares, and/or become severely paranoid, I'd watch a full episode of 'The Simple Life,' but that's a rant for another time.

Horror movies have nothing to contribute to one's mind, as movies are meant to do. I read a review of Eli Roth's recent sex-fest-turned-torture-orgy "Hostel" which maintained that the movie actually had a message: What would YOU do if there were no rules? If anyone's answer to that question echoes the events of that movie, he/she is advised to seek psychological aid. Basic human morality should answer this question before any though need be given. I'm not saying that if you like scary movies, you're mentally unstable. But, the few times I go to the movie theater, I see more shady characters exiting the Eli Roth movie than the Wes Anderson one.

Sunday, July 16, 2006

I blog, therefore I am (without anything better to do).

Hello. My name is Tim, and I have many opinions. So you're going to hear some of them. Some will be society-related, politics-agitated, or sport-motivated. I am brutally honest. Read at your own risk, but don't be a wimp.