Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Today's Bits of Wonder

Perhaps I missed the societal memo, but when exactly did it become permissible to discuss defecation in great detail in mixed company? Now, call me old-fashioned, but I don't believe a young lady wants to know anything about the gastrointestinal misadventures of any of her male peers. For that matter, neither do most males.

In other news, have you ever listened to a song after a several-year hiatus? I did so some minutes ago. It was a song called "Daybreak," performed by a group called "Special EFX" an obscure contemporary of the only slightly less-obscure Pat Metheny Group (it's modern Jazz). I would be shocked, awed, and taken completely aback (in a good way!) if any of you reading this has ever heard of the song or group. Anyway, it was a great feeling, like a brief, mental sugar-rush.

Well, that's all I have for this evening. Just remember: don't go around talking about poo-poos among large groups of people. I don't think anyone cares about your bowel movements, and frankly, it's far beyond repulsive.

Sunday, November 26, 2006

Post #20!

I've gotten into some really bad vacation-time habits over the past couple days. Due to some irrational fear of missing interesting television and a preponderance of late-night net surfing, I have gone to bed around 1:30 AM the past three nights. It's as though I'm too slothful to leave the couch for the comfort of my featherbed (sounds effeminate, but even the manliest man would enjoy sleeping on such a soft surface, I believe).

I have come to the following realization: I, Tim the Consummate Dork, am wasting far too much free time. I surf Wikipedia from time to time on these late nights, but never find anything of genuine interest. I need a hobby, or something interesting to become an expert on, or something to collect. Photography? Collecting fossils? Entomology? Bodybuilding (haha), perhaps?

I'm open to suggestions.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Well, I Passed...

...hoorah. I can now gorge myself on bird and starch and sweet without any worries.

Of course, I was astounded at how easy the examination was. It frankly concerns me. I now know exactly why so many undeservingly licensed drivers take their heavy metal weapons of locomotion onto the roads each day. All some of them had to do was back-in-park in a school parking lot, and then just stay inside the painted lines for ten minutes. But who am I to complain?

So if you see a white Acura TL with Connecticut plates traveling at the speed limit (or maybe one or two miles over the speed limit if I'm feeling really rebellious and naughty!), please do not be cross. It's just little ol' me, plodding along my cautious way.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

An Event of Significance

Okay, I will be taking my driving test tomorrow...

Here's my problem with the whole system: If anyone who has been driving for more than a few months were to take the driving portion of the test, he/she would most likely fail, supposing the driving test is administered according to the letter of the driving regulations. No one comes to a full stop at a STOP sign. I have been passed a few times when traveling a mere two miles per hour above the speed limit. It's outrageous. The police forces of America could become some of the most profitable organizations in the world if they enforced traffic laws to the letter. It's truly remarkable, the recklessness of drivers.

Monday, November 20, 2006

Very Strange...

To those of you who read my blog but do not know what I look like, this may not register with you. Just understand that I'm not exactly an attractive specimen of humanity.

With the preceding in mind, imagine my surprise when a woman in Big Y (a shopper, not an employee), a fairly attractive woman of an estimated 30-35 years said to me (and I quote directly), "Has anyone ever told you that you look like Matt Damon?"

Needless to say, I was dumbfounded, and nearly laughed aloud, but be proud, dear readers, that I refrained, and said politely, "Thanks. I've actually never heard that before. But thank you." I'll admit that I held back a grin for the next ten minutes.

Even more surprising than the content of the question was the fact that the woman asked it completely unsolicited. Perhaps she said to herself, "Aww, this kid's shopping with his mother. That's sad; he could use a pick-me-up." Perhaps she was honest. All the same, I had thought that we Americans had become too uptight to say such things. And even though her statement was a bit unsettling, it's nice to know that there are still people who aren't completely encased in their own private bubbles of existence.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Two Interesting Items: An Idea And Then A Brief Reflection (unrelated)

Two things that came to fruition tonight...

First, the idea...

It seems to me that in many cases, captivating thespians are often brooding, quiet people (at least, as seen by those who do not know them well. They mostly keep to themselves and do not say much. BUT, when they are on stage, immersed in the body and mind of their characters, they are able to portray convincingly most any personality. Having seen a production of the one-act play "Museum" this evening, many of the more talkative, center-of-the-action characters are portrayed by people of that same introverted personality I just mentioned.

I believe a couple factors may be at work here. Possibility #1 is that these people are so insecure about their "real" lives that they have no other outlet for self-expression other than the stage. This seems to me a backward form of escape; it is most intriguing. The only way they can escape their own insecurities is in front of a crowd. I would like to think that the introverted people who played extroverts do not fall under this insecurity category, but I am unsure.

Possibility #2 is that acting is a grand catharsis. These people bottle up all of their creative energy during the days (weeks, months) leading up to performances, and just publicly explode with energy and vigor when called to do so. This is my hope. I do not hope for other people to be insecure, as Possibility #1 mandates. Surely they have value to add to the lives of others off the stage, no? Yet this cathartic manifestation of themselves is all most people know of them. Is this what makes them so very effective?

Sorry, I don't have many answers, although I am somewhat certain that most great actors and actresses fall under one of these categories (hopefully moreso under #2, though I am unsure). All I know is that because I am such an oddball in real life, I would likely be an ineffective actor. I'll leave that to the professionals who know what they're doing, because as you can see, I do not have much of a clue in this matter.

Now, the reflection (If you're still with me, I thank and applaud you. This shall be brief).

On the way home from a golf match during my Sophomore year, I burst out in a fit of laughter. Uncontrollable laughter, multiplied by the sight of abit of ketchup on a teammate's shirt. When my astonished, frightened teammates looked at me to see the cause of my hysteria, all I could choke out was "TOO MUCH SUGARRR!!!!" I was exhibiting behavior of someone affected by some illegal substance or another. In terms of sugar, I had had that day a Powerade, and then a soda and Frosty™ Dairy Dessert from Wendy's.

I experienced similar giddiness earlier tonight, albeit on an far smaller scale. I'd call it "moderately sustained light giggling." It got me thinking about the phrase, "high on life." Some people just say it just to say it, but I think that it's actually somewhat true in my strange case. I believe that there is something wrong (I'd actually say right) with me which causes my body to manufacture a dosage of natural "happy drugs," from time to time. Which is great. I'll never have to waste my money on outside stuff; I've got my own stock with me. Weird, eh?

Friday, November 03, 2006

Thoughts After a Few Moments' Facebooking

I have a Facebook account, and am a member of a group called Ultimate Facebook Project. UFP is a group of some 650,000 Facebookers. Thus, the "Discussion Board" section makes for entertaining reading, because it is a place where people who have never met (and likely never will) get together and discuss anything and everything. Here's a brief account of my findings.

Anonymity sure makes people horny. At least one of every three threads I've perused in the Discussion Board discusses sex at some point. And not shyly either. "What's your favorite position?," and "Best Places to Have Sex" topics are quite common. I followed one of the latter types of topic all the way through, nearly 6000 posts of it (over the last couple days, because frankly, I have no other way to fill hours). I never knew how much thought people could put into such a topic. Furthermore, I found out something unexpected; that the girls were just about as open in their comments as the guys (which brings to light all new wonderments of the ubiquitous male-female dynamic that need not be pondered now). But rest assured, there was an alarming amount of shameless hitting-on by the males.

To my surprise, the thread made it into the 5000s without going horribly off-topic, but the inevitable did happen. Two devoutly Christian girls came into the discussion, arguing that everyone would be damned to hell because of pre-marital sex. If there's one thing that seems to spread discontent, it's radical ideas. Naturally, these girls were much-berated for their statements. Though I too disagree with their opinions, I marvel at how others (mostly college students) fail to rise above the typical degeneration of such arguments and fail to posit any meaningfully interesting argument. I guess that the impersonal nature of Facebook still doesn't inhibit maturity in discussion when people try to stir the pot.