It's NOT a Small World After All

This evening, I refrained from watching the Emmy Awards because, let's be honest, it's a joke. Anyway, instead, I watched two episodes of the show "Tribal Odyssey" on the Travel Channel. I highly recommend it, but only if you are mature enough not to giggle at some mild tribal nudity. Anyway, it gives an attentive watcher an interesting perspective. Take for instance the Wasoni tribe in Papua New Guinea (Large country southeast of Indonesia and north of Australia, for those who don't know, or don't care). Two clans went to the brink of war: The Chief of Clan A was killed by his teenage bride from Clan B. As retribution for the murder, Clan A demanded a number of Cowrie shells, which are highly prized for their beauty, which makes them equivalent to currency. However, Clan B's representative in talks as been told by the government not to use cowrie shells as payment. But, money is not useful for the Wasoni. Eventually, the two tribes agree to a half-shells, half-money agreement. But just ponder the fact that there are still tribes which cannot "take the money and run."

Boys of the Himba Tribe of the dry areas of Africa (I did not catch the country in which they reside) are circumsized at the age of eight, to symbolize their passage into manhood. At eight years old, they begin to be given tasks performed by adults. Ponder that a moment. At this time, the clan slaughters a cow, and in addition to cooking it up for their feast, the head of the clan must read the entrails of the cow in an attempt to foretell future events. If you think that this is nonsense, consider that this time, the reader saw that the appearance of a particular vein symboized death, but more specifically, someone's knees getting broken or badly injured in the near future. Pretty intricate, no?

I watched only the very beginning of another episode, this time about the Zo'e tribe, who live deep in the Amazon. Heck, their presence was only detected in the last few years. They live in a part of Brazil which the Brazilian government has forbidden the public from entering, because it is virtually unexplored and unknown. These people are as close as we can come to time-travel. They live as humans lived 30,000 years ago in principle. They have no TV, no cell phones, no People Magazine.

Watch "Tribal Odyssey" once in a while. It gives one a bit of a different perspective.

Nostalgia

Last night, I happened to reconnect with an old acquaintance who moved away after third grade via AIM. She has as good a memory as anyone I know, remembering silly things that she and I said as long ago as 1st grade. Anyhow, it was awesome to just reminisce about bygone days; days when we worried about reading our first multi-chapter books WITHOUT pictures. Now, there are things like AP US History and Calculus that have taken the places of the elementary toils.

Take a look at your middle school yearbook(s) every so often, and have a a trip back in your brain and remember some of the old characters from bygone days. It's a refreshing exercise.

Some Short Musings

- My father recently needed to schedule an appointment with my parents' opthalmologist. But, when he called the office, he found out that the number had been disconnected. Why? Dr. Coppeto was arrested in February for possession of over 1000 images of child pornography. A 61 year old man, with five grown children. But appallingly at most, hismaximum sentence would be 7 and a half years in prison. He made an Alford plea (not admitting guilt but conceding a preponderance of damning evidence) to boot.
My point: many criminals get off too easy in this country. I am a very strong proponent of the death penalty; in fact, I believe that it should be applicable to sex crimes as well. Please, Criminal Justice System, take John Mark Carr away from humanity as soon as possible. Even if he didn't kill JonBenet Ramsey, he still deserves a speedy execution date.

- If you do cannot speak properly the official language of the country in which you reside, you do not deserve to be a citizen of said country.
My point: see above

- People who make the same face in nearly every picture in which they appear piss mee off.

- Women who marry death row inmates deserve to be hit upside the head with heavy manufacturing equipment.

- People who drive SUVs do not have the right to complain about global warming or oil prices.

That's all for now.

A Letter to Jon Stewart

Dear Mr. Stewart,
I have a request of you. You know that show of yours; The Daily Show? I was wondering, could you be ever so kind as to give it a freakin' rest?
For every event of relative seriousness, you and your band of writers are compelled to make light of it in the most disrespectful manner possible. Take today's terrorist round-up in England; a victory in the War on Terrorism, no? Well shiver-me-timbers! No liquids on the plane? Preposterous! Ha-ha! Another bit of hooliganism on the part of the inept Department of Homeland Security! What a stupid restriction to place on airline passengers in the wake of terrorists wanting to mix up some explosives with LIQUIDS! Lest we forget another clever insertion of a sarcastic "democracy is the only antidote to extremism" jibe!
Is this all a joke to you, Mr. Stewart? Do you feel it is wise to delude people of the seriousness of today's world by making third-grade jokes about the president and any other conservative political presences? Is this any way to affect positive action on important political and social issues?
Mr. Stewart, I beg you, will you please return to the days of Baby-Racing? The days when it was clear to everyone that your show is but an extended joke? You should be alarmed that some people take it completely seriously. You know, the news items you either found or invented that made light of subjects that deserved it? Perhaps you and your fake-conservative buddy Colbert can rekindle some of the old magic.
Until then, I have a tip for you when taking any airplane trips in the near future. Just take that bottle of water, and just hide it where the sun don't shine. Your head could use company up there.

Thank you ever-so-much.

--Gavrich

I don't mean to beach, but...

... I'm just not that enamored of spending more than an hour by the sea's sandy edge. I did this today, for the first time all summer, at the behest of my family. We only walked around searching for shells, so the experience was somewhat bearable. Trust me, any more of a commitment on my part would benefit no one.

For starters, the thought of my bare torso is enough to send the Pawleys Island Police Department into a frenzy; what with my decided stoutness of shape, not to mention a golf shirt-shaped tan line (my fair Greek skin needs no sunscreen, so my bronze arms are the only evidence of outdoor activity) that would send onlookers to area hospitals with cardiac troubles resulting from either uncontrollable laughter or crippling fright.

Another part of the beach which does not at all agree with me is sand. While the idea of walking barefoot in the sand, feet sinking in at every step may be a liberating one to some people, I just find it annoying. The whiteness of the sand did not help either, as I found myself waddling (more pronounced than usual) along, expending a great deal of energy in the unstable sand, squinting and sometimes closing my eyes altogether.

Perhaps I will eventually see in the beach what others see; they're nice to look at, but after a short while, my eyes are ready to find some other stimulation. But for now, I'm content to make a once-a-year pilgrimage to the sandy expanse, just to confirm that nothing has changed. Today, my favorite part of going to the beach was my footlong hot dog and onion rings afterwards. Besides, if I wanted to go nearly blind and come home sticky, there are probably other, less common alternatives.